What To Do When You're Wondering

Dear Soul Sisters,



I got a newsletter with your email on it saying I could write to you and receive an intuitive email. If this is true, thank you in advance, because I have been really praying for insight. I have been trying to create a career/living with my music, and I have some confidence and perfectionist issues that make certain aspects of creating a music career challenging. I am shy, and sometimes nervous performing, though I also love performing when I break through the fear. I have been hoping the stage fright would go away with age, but it still seems to effect my performances sometimes.


I wonder if I should continue working toward a music career, or if I should let it go, and find another path, and way to make a living. I wonder if I have the natural qualities it takes to tour, and make a living with music. I wonder if you see any jobs, either music related or not that feel like they would suit me...to bring in money. 



Also, I have been feeling blue, and tired, and I wonder how I can feel more aliveness, joy and well being.



Many thanks.

"Do what FEELS easy, not what IS easy." --The Universe

Dear Wondering,

Thanks for your question. We are so glad you found us through the mysterious workings of the Universe and we're happy to share our intuitive hits with you!

First things first: Have you had a regular check-up recently? If not, make time to do so now and make sure all is well on the physical level. If this is the case, we would suggest that feeling down and tired may stem from the uncertainty you are feeling around your career path. Often when what we are doing doesn't fit us anymore, we start to feel unwell. We believe this is life's way of giving us the time we need to figure things out. We hope you will take that time for yourself right now as it feels as if you are at a crossroads in your life and career.

Music is and always will be a part of who you are. It is in your bones and in your heart and in your soul. How you choose to express it and make it a part of your life, however, may change many times over your lifetime. "Should” you continue working toward a career in music? That we cannot answer, but we would urge you to ask yourself a different question: DO I WANT TO? And, if so, how do I want that to look?

Sit down or lie down on the floor and take a few deep breaths. Tune into your own inner knowing and ask yourself this question: Do I want to continue to make my living as a musician? Then listen for your answer. Sometimes our passions are our career and sometimes they are just that – our passions – and doing them as a career can sap some of the joy that comes from doing something for the sheer love of it. Which resonates most strongly for you? Are you just burning to get out there on the road and up on the stage or do you look forward to time alone in the studio or playing music with good friends?

We wonder from reading your letter if perhaps the idea of being a traveling musician feels hard and exhausting to you right now. We get the hit that you may be more of a homebody, that a sense of place and a warm house and comfy couch (maybe even an animal or two) to come home to at the end of the night may feed your particular soul and give you more joy than weeks spent on the road in a tour bus living out of a suitcase and never knowing where you will lay your head that night.

If this resonates as true for you, spend some time releasing this vision of your musical career, which may have been important or exciting to you at another time in your life. Often it is the ideas that get into our head, and not those which flow from our hearts, which we listen to most closely. The Violet Flame meditation (available by signing up on our website, see sidebar) is a great tool for releasing that which no longer serves you. Once you receive it, practice for 30 days and then reevaluate. You may find you feel comfort and ease at releasing this old dream and allowing it to fade away or perhaps there is some part of it that is not working for you and a slight tweak will help things to realign.

If you find that you are ready to imagine new possibilities for yourself in your career that may place you smack dab in the gap – that sometimes uncomfortable place between where you have been and where you are going. We love what Mary Manin Morrissey says about this place in our lives, “Beat the rush to the familiar and value the GAP between where you are and where you are going...the GAP is just the GAP. It's what you say, think and believe about the GAP that determines the outcome.” Although sometimes uncomfortable, the gap can be a very productive place if you allow yourself to feel into it and to think positively about this time of transition.

We encourage you to take the time to do some dreaming and visioning work. Make a list of all the possible careers that interest you – musical and otherwise. We get the hit that it would be good for you to find some alternate work - a day job if you will - and see where your passions lead. To figure out a great area to pursue a position, ask yourself, “What would I do for FREE because it gives me JOY?” Perhaps working with children or animals makes your heart sing? Maybe assisting older adults in a nursing home would be rewarding for you? We get that serving in some capacity (perhaps by sharing music with others) would not only boost your confidence but would add to your sense of contributing to the whole of the planet during this great time of consciousness.

Once you have made your "joy list," post it somewhere where you will see it often and whittle it down to the 2 or 3 options which resonate most strongly for you right now. Then ASK THE UNIVERSE for signs and support. Pray, write a letter to your higher self, do a manifestation worksheet (such as one of these from Colin Tipping), or in some other way ask the Universe for help and assistance in finding your next career and bringing the right and perfect people and opportunities to you.

Then get to work. Make phone calls, send emails, peruse Craigslist, post your resume on Monster.com and connect with people you know (and people you don't) on LinkedIn. Whatever next step presents itself to you, take it and see where it leads. We will be very surprised if once you start this process you don't find yourself with one (or more!) exciting opportunities presenting themselves to you within a fairly short period of time.

Remember to stay open to the unconventional and unusual. Especially for us creative types (writers, authors, artists and intuitives) the usual job just often isn't a good fit. Keep in mind too that the perfect full time job may be two part time jobs, perhaps one in music and one doing something completely different. Perhaps something that involves spiritual service and music would resonate for you right now. Many New Thought churches have guest musicians or even house bands. See if there are opportunities in your area to serve - while singing and strumming – in this way.

Have you ever heard of Cat Power? The singer, Chan Marshall, has been wildly successful despite suffering from stage fright and substance abuse. Recently, her performing has become more polished and she’s been praised for being more upbeat and professional. In an article, Chan credited her musical collaborators and sobriety with her turnaround.

What underlying issue is at the heart of your perfectionism and stage fright? We have a feeling that, like many of us, something you experienced in childhood taught you to be fearful, to hide your light and to fear soaring in the spotlight. It sounds like you have had moments of breakthrough and we’d encourage you to dig deeper. Find a therapist to work with, perhaps someone specializing in bioenergetics and incorporating the freeing of the body or look for someone in your area who is a vocal coach, also incorporating confidence building and stage presence in their practice areas. Keep in mind that "Courage isn't an absence of fear. It's doing what you are afraid to do. It's having the power to let go of the familiar and forge ahead into new territory."  (John Maxwell) You may always feel a little bit of stage fright, but you can learn to manage it and to perform beautifully in spite of it. While working on this issue don't forget to spend some time singing just for FUN too!

We would urge you to take especially good care of yourself during this time of transition. We'd suggest:

--Make sure you are getting regular exercise. Exercise boosts energy, raises endorphin levels and just generally helps to keep the blues at bay. 
--Spend at least 20 minutes per day in nature. Walk in a park, by the beach, sit in a garden and yes, hug some trees. They can be very nourishing and enriching to human souls!
--Develop a meditation practice. Tune into your heart each morning or evening. The more you build this muscle, the more clear your heart and mind will become. We have a feeling your own answers will begin speaking to you much more loudly too! 
--Get plenty of sleep. As we've just fallen back, see if you can start heading to bed an hour earlier and getting your body on a natural rhythm with our setting sun. 
--Eat healthy, high vibration foods. Incorporate more fruits, veggies and fresh, raw ingredients into your diet. Reduce the amount of processed foods you choose and stay away from fast and fried foods. 
--Take sea-salt baths at night. Add candles and soothing oils like lavender to make your home a spa-like space!

As a part of our work on your question, we pulled some Angel Cards for you. Here's what we got:

1) You are a powerful healer. How can you use your natural gifts and talents to help heal others and the world?

2) Now is the time to take excellent care of yourself. Allow yourself to receive massage and other body work and pamper yourself in ways that feed your soul.

3) Is there someone else involved in this situation? Are you responding to outside pressures in the building of your career? Recognize that ultimately it is you that has to live your life and let go of any need to please others with your life choices. See their perspective with compassion and then let it go.

May beautiful music, peace, oneness, love and light fill your life now and always!

Jennifer & Lara

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