"Why is it that the things we want most in life are the scariest to go after?"

Dear EVF (Excitement v. Fear):

Thanks for being our first Dear Soul Sisters customer. What a great question to kick us off!

What comes to us initially is this: Because we are so afraid of being disappointed.

If we keep our big dream sacred, safe and "out there," we've always got it to go after. It's the clarion call and the end of our life's rainbow. And while it's the one thing we've never tried, it also remains the one thing at which we've never failed.

Marianne Williamson says, "...our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate, our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure..." As we start shining our bright light, our ego often invents road blocks and reasons why we can't possibly go on.

Somewhere along the line, we learned it's safer to stay small, to stick with the herd and yes, to shun the spotlight. But your Divine Dream keeps coming back because it's the truth of who you are. You wouldn't be feeling so uncomfortable with your status quo if the potential inside of you weren't ready to be unleashed. Your soul knows what's possible and it's egging you on, but FEAR keeps showing up to crash your party.

Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of all the "what ifs?" It appears like a ticker-tape though the mind, "You should get a 'real' job" "Don't be so unreasonable" or "What are the chances of making it big?" These voices show up, uninvited, to push our dreams away; the choice to believe them and attach energy to them, however, is all ours.

Next time you get some unsolicited advice from your inner-roommate, try telling her gently to "STOP." You can even thank her for sharing her opinion but politely disagree. Then move on to something more constructive. If that won't work...

FEEL THE FEAR

Most of us have not learned to deal with strong feelings in a constructive way. We spend a lot of our lives suppressing our fears, keeping them quiet and holding them in.

Set aside time and a quiet space to really FEEL your fear. Ride the wave of sheer terror and see what gifts are waiting for you there. What are you really afraid of? Why? Where does this fear come from? Is it a current fear? Or something based in your past?

Then ask yourself: Is this something I am ready to leave behind or something I still need to deal with? If the former, create a ritual (like a burning bowl) to release this fear and set yourself free; then move forward. If the latter, get some help. Find a book (Pema Chodron’s "From Fear to Fearlessness" is a great one on this topic), a life coach, a therapist, or even a trusted friend to help you work through the issue so you can be ready to release it and move into your full power.

Sometimes fear is more a smokescreen than a teacher, if that is the case try this exercise from Kare Castle, Spiritual Life Coach, who teaches that "the truth shall set you free."

Each of us has an internal litmus test to separate FEAR from Truth. Next time you get a thought, hold it for a minute. If it starts your heart racing, your mind monkeying and your angst engine reviving, it's your old friend FEAR.

The truth, on the other hand, will send warm waves through your body, make your soul smile and blanket you in calm. This can save you hours of anxiety because you no longer feed FEAR what it wants the most: more FEAR.

JUST DO IT

Once you have worked with your fear the next step is to start doing whatever it is you dream about. You want to be a painter? PAINT. Yes, you may have the dream of seeing your work in a gallery, making a living from your work, or even becoming famous, but it all starts with the doing. That's where the joy is.

FOLLOW YOUR GUIDANCE

As you move toward your dream, listen to your Higher Self. If you get a feeling to do something, contact someone about an opportunity, or enter a contest, DO IT. Sometimes this guidance will make no sense and seem to lead nowhere, but each step of the journey takes you places you cannot even imagine right now.

If you have trouble connecting with your guidance, start a meditation practice. Spend 20 minutes in the morning or evening just breathing and listening to yourself, far away from the thoughts and noise and business of the day. After awhile you will find that your internal voice becomes louder, easier to hear and harder to ignore. This is when things get really interesting!

BREAK IT DOWN

Don't make it so big. Sometimes our dreams can overwhelm us with their sheer bigness. It doesn't seem possible that we can accomplish THAT from where we are NOW, but remember "a thousand mile journey begins with one step." Take that first step right now and worry about the thousandth step when you get there. Send an email, sign up for a class or spend some time creating a vision map of your sublime success. Before you know it, the thing that was too scary to go for will be your reality!

Here's to excitement and going after what you want most! It wants you too!

Peace, Oneness, Love and Light,

Jennifer and Lara

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